PENSIERI E SCRITTURE DI XMPLE

Well.

xmple — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 11:53:35 +0000

After all thats been said and done, in the end it all comes down to one. To where it all began.

hhmmm…..

xmple — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 01:29:38 +0000

masakit palang maramdaman na para kang ipinagtulakan na hindi mo maintindihan… nakakatuwa naman…….

Sad…

xmple — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 03:51:57 +0000

Sorry, I just cant help but be a bit sad cause of what happened. I was just expecting something too much,and got the opposite of it…. Anyway, it will pass by soon…Amien

hhhmmmm??

xmple — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 02:29:33 +0000

whats up with the…..weird aura??

Devastated….

xmple — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 19:54:38 +0000

Its the 21st of Feb 2010 at 0259 PH

I…I feel so weak, my arms feel numb even the meer process of typing this is giving me difficulty.. My heart, I can feel its sudden fluctuation as if its beating so fast yet the rhythm seems to be so quiet.. My knees, shaking as if Its going to collapse the moment I try to stand. My thoughts,,, Its disorganized, yet all I’m thinking of is the blog that my beloved wrote and the very first paragrah of it. “sighs. its bleeding now..as in..”

How, how did I manage to make the only woman that I loved this way bleed..made her heart bleed.. I am..deeply saddened. I wanted to shout but I couldnt, not because of the people around me but cause of this feeling thats starting to build up inside my chest. I wanted to call her,yet I know by doing that it will only worsen some things… I..I wanted to hurt myself, but by doing that I know it will hurt my beloved more.. I want to go down and speak to her, but I know shes tired and she needs rest. I wanted to ask her so many things, her thoughts, her feelings, her worries, fears… And I wanted to ease them all away. More over…I needed to……..

I can feel it, its so intense, very warm and very uncomforting. I can feel so much hatred, so much agony, so much anger,so much guilt, so much, so bad… I despise myself.. I cant even look at the photograph of me and my beloved fiance, How could I? How dare I? hurt her so much, when shes the only one who made me happy and complete.. I tried to say something thru YM but all I was able to say is sorry…. I didnt know what to say, what to tell her, I was completely wordless… I wanted to cry, but there was nothing. All that came out was the sound of my heavy breathing, I checked my scheduule to know when I can go down and speak to her.

Speak to her…but what will I tell her? good morning? how was your sleep? is that the way you help mend your fiance’s heart? Do you even have the right to do that? And how dare you? HOW DARE YOU!!!??? call yourself her fiance??? She is bleeding right now because of you.. Sighs…

Dear Fiance,

My love, I am really sorry for, for bringing this upon you believe me dear never in my dreams did I imagined something like this. I feel so devastated cause of the way I made you feel and the way I made your heart bleed. Dear, may I? will you allow me? to help you mend and stop your hearts bleeding? Dear..you are my everything, I am walking, moving, changing, dreaming, believing, loving, hoping, breathing, living because of you.. Noone else. Dear, this is me asking you to accept my sincerest apology. Dear allow me,,, allow me to help you. Tell me your thoughts and everything and let me comfort you. Dear, of all the stupid things I did, I will pay each and everyone of them. Dear, I am yours only yours, you own me and everything that I own.. Please, let me fulfill my duty as your fiance and let me undo what I’ve done wrong….. WSLEO..

devastated..

xmple — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 18:52:11 +0000

sighs…wait, let me take a deep breathe and compose myself.

NEW..

xmple — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 01:38:22 +0000

Sooo.. Under new people…..

ROBOT MODE: ON!!!…….. sighs..

Rest Day?

xmple — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 19:05:57 +0000

Ok Ok..I am quite surprised, confused, sleepy and…disappointed…sighs.

Well, WORK is WORK……

turing point….

xmple — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 23:39:41 +0000

in an instance…it made me think, yeah youre right its really really hard to know who your real friends are………too bad you learned about this shit just now….

Cooperation!

xmple — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 20:31:15 +0000

Now, more than ever she needs this from me. this is not exam week anymore! its thesis, its the final step before she graduates and start her new out of school life with me.

She will feel pressure, stress and exhaustion, and the last thing that she need is an annoying, inconsiderate and selfish fiance. I am here to take care of her, calm and comfort her when she is stressed out, help ease her mind from all pressure and above all, let her have sufficient amount of rest when everything starts to get all mixed up or when she gets all worked up. I know and understand what I have to do; and I will do it….

No more being sensitive and crappy, take care of self evenmore to avoid any unwanted sickness nor pain or whatever, avoid stupid small argument that can lead to something big that can add up to her thoughts, she will be very busy going to certain places for data gathering for her thesis and also for the passport and NPWP that she needs, in order for us to be together again. She is doing her part to be with me, and in return I will do mine….

Sometimes she might do other things to help loosen things up, or when she feels a bit bored and all. It is her stress reducer, something that entertains her when she is in the brink of being lost in “boringlandia”. Its good, she has a healthy outlet.

Soo. more than the word itself, action is needed. COOPERATE! Ayt!